My ex, from several years back, and I had once written a short comedic skit:
Scene – DJ spinning records in a club
Music – a variation on “You Down With OPP?”, now “You Down With OCD?”
Funny hook – DJ washing hands feverishly between every song
This was extremely funny to us both because we’re both self-diagnosed Obsessive Compulsives. “Closed, off, and locked.” This is my morning mantra. Walk to the bathroom, “Closed, off, and locked.” Bedroom, “”Closed, off, and locked.” On the way out the backdoor, “Closed, off, and locked.” Pulling out of the driveway, craning my neck to see the garage door until the very last second, “Closed, off, and locked.”
And, now there is one more obsessive compulsive behavior. I check The Heartbreaker’s blog every day. He only posted three times ever, and hasn’t posted anything since November, so I never really expect to see a change. But every day I feel compelled to check.
The problem is that his last post was about me. I hate that it’s all schmoopie and just sitting out there like an abandoned hedgehog (I could have gone with puppy but that’s so run-of-the-mill).
This post appears unloved but it has always been special to me. Someone took the time to write about me. And it was sweet. And genuine. And unusual. Like a hedgehog.
But the time has come; someone either needs to adopt the post or have it euthanized.