I went from 0 – 60 when I had satellite television installed. Where I used to have eight channels (sometimes four, depending on the weather) I now have hundreds…plus two DVRs with which I can record every show I never previously had any interest in watching. 100 hours of recording time. Why would I ever need 100 hours of recording time?
Enter, Torino 2006.
PJ McFuzzybottom set a timer that records every new Olympic event that is being played on any station, anywhere, anytime. How could we ever have a social life when each time we look in the DVR there are four new recordings, varying in length between three and six hours.
Welcome to the new and exciting sport of speed curling. After watching one curling event in “live” mode, I decided I’d had my fill, possibly forever. Until PJ and I realized how great this sport is at 15x the normal speed. Thrilling. Even the endless time outs that are used to look at the stones from this angle, then that angle, again, again, bring out the coach, look again, again, talk, look, talk, look, coach?, look, head back, wait, look, talk, look, and look race by in mere seconds. This is wonderful.
15x is the optimal speed for viewing curling and most other events. But hockey is fantastic at 60x the normal speed. I am a big hockey fan but for some reason can’t bring myself to watch taped games. Don’t argue with me. I know that even if I watch a “live” game it is still probably not live because of the time difference. It’s a mental block. There’s no reasoning with me on this one. Speed hockey takes care of this because I can scream through a game in a few minutes while still catching enough of it to see when the scores change. Perfect.
And if I still haven’t sold you completely on the idea of fast-forward Olympics, let me just leave you with this…
Speed Speed Skating.