Still passing the open windows and falling down the stairs

Ass-kicker or water-retainer?

If anyone were reading this blog, my next statement might stir up some controversy…

I weigh myself everyday when I’m trying to lose weight.

I like to pretend that I do it so I can quickly make a correction if I start to see a stall or a shift, but I really do it because I have an obsessive personality. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a little change. Since I don’t drink or smoke or stay up all night, I allow myself this little bit of naughty fun.

So, I was shocked when I got on the scale yesterday and saw that I was down 1.8 pounds in two days. And I very nearly passed out when I saw a SIX mother-effin’ pound loss this morning.


Or should it be, SIX POUNDS IN FOUR DAYS????

Is that a believable number? I’m heavier than I should be, but I didn’t think I was “Biggest Loser” heavy where they drop 15 pounds a week.

Maybe I was just super bloaty on Tuesday and Wednesday (from all of the sugar I’ve had recently?) or maybe I really am kicking ass.

Either way, I’ll take it!

Live, love, lose.

Stay on target…

I know that the only way to keep myself going is to allow some “indulgences.”

I love crunchy and I love sweet.
Today, I found crunchy. And I found sweet.

On a side note, I can’t tell you how much I love that the rest of the world is finally paying more attention to the amount of fiber in their diets. I’ve been dealing with the dreaded IBS for 20 years and eating a diet high in fiber (NOT fiber supplements) is the only thing that I have found that will calm the beast. And now it’s so easy to get a ton of fiber in without even trying. Yippee for my digestive system!

That’s probably more than you needed to know about my colon, so we’re moving on.

I also intend to start the exercise off at a pace I can somewhat enjoy, or I’ll get discouraged and frustrated and just go back to the couch. Last night, my dad and I tried the EA Sports Active for Wii. We did a 25 minute workout and I thought it was great. We were “running” and jumping and lunging all over the place and I felt like I got a decent (short) workout. I also intend to return to my beloved Winsor Pilates, which I have not used for at least a year.

I know it’s only day 3 (who’s counting) but I feel really good. Of course, the Red Baron has been out of town for three days, so it’s been pretty easy. He returns today, so I need to be super aware of the bad eating habits we tend to fall into when we’re together.

We’ll just have to totally DO IT whenever we want some sugar…

Live, love, lose.

Fuzzy math

As I was drifting off to sleep last night (that sounds like how a princess gently falls asleep. My entry into slumber is actually a lot of rolling around, pillow rearranging, nodding off only to awaken myself by making a weird sound, and eventually passing out.), my mind kept returning to that number…181. 181. 181…? It started to sound wrong to me. I started to think that my ego (and not my brain) had done the number crunching, say “removing three pounds for clothing/boots,” and I had convinced myself that 181 was the weight on the scale, so with three pounds removed…178 would be my “actual” weight.

But somewhere in my subconscious, I knew that 181 was the “actual” weight.

So, I got to my desk this morning and drank a load of water and ate my breakfast, just like yesterday, and toddled down to the scale. And got confirmation that I’m a big, FAT, lying liar. The scale screamed at me, “YOU WEIGH 184.4 POUNDS!!! JUST LIKE YOU DID YESTERDAY!”

And then I bent down to pick up my water bottle and the lining in my pants ripped.

Are you fucking kidding me?

But I’m still not going to get discouraged. I’m going to lose this weight. I must lose this weight. Because the last time I was this heavy (and then some) was when I was drinking. And all of this makes me feel very out of control, like I felt then.

Day two, in progress.

Live, love, lose.

Fat and (un?)happy

The Baron and I have been dating for nine months and I’ve gained 15 pounds.

What the…?

How do people survive the first year? Nothing makes me happier than seeing him smile. And he smiles a lot when he’s eating cookies. And so do I.

We bought a bike trainer to keep up the momentum during the dark, cold, snowy Minnesota winter but it’s at his house and I’ve been sick and I hurt my back and…I could keep making excuses but that would take too much energy. So, we got a Wii (with the Fit Plus pack) but the same excuses I’ve listed for the bike apply here.

And now I’m on the verge of busting out of my clothes and I’m too cheap and stubborn to buy new. So, I’m stopping this train right now. I lost eight pounds before we went to Mexico (which I promptly regained, and then some), so I think I’ll revisit the South Beach Diet.

I hate setting goals, but my birthday is 13 weeks from today (April 27). April 29 is our one year anniversary. So, my official goal will be to lose 25 pounds by that time. That will take me back to the weight I was when my best friend got married in 2004. That was my ideal weight and I felt better than I remember having felt in my body in my adult life.

So, my little blog will have a stay of execution, as I intend to document my progress here.

I’m even going to share my real-life numbers…
Starting Date: January 26, 2010
Height: 5’9″
Weight: Hang on…I’m gonna run downstairs to jump on the scale…181! GASP!!! That weight is fully clothed, but even if I gave myself 3 pounds for clothes/boots, it’s still a ridiculous number!

This is so much worse than I had imagined…but it just makes me more motivated. I may decide to set a second goal along the way, but I absolutely can’t think past 25 pounds right now.

Done! Here we go! Let’s do this…!

Live, love, lose.

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