Still passing the open windows and falling down the stairs

Tock tick, y’all

“Don’t make that face or it will stay that way.”

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, Santa will put you on the naughty list.”

“Sitting that close to the television will make you go blind.”

Adults love to scare obedience and conformity into children. It’s a technique handed down from the first cave people; “If you eat too many sweets, the saber-tooth fairy won’t leave any money under your pillow.”

Most of it is total crap. Most.

“Don’t dilly-dally…your biological clock is ticking.”

That one is probably true, as it turns out.

Ten years ago it felt like you had the rest of your life to think about having kids. Then you blink and realize you’re almost 36. And single. Very single. And the one guy you thought you might be able to have a family with is suddenly 40, living 900 miles away and is no closer to having his shit together than he was two years ago and it hits you like a ton of bricks that things might actually NOT work out between the two of you and you will have to REALLY give up the ghost and open yourself up FULLY to someone else.

Because your Plan B is having kids alone at 40, which is one scary-ass proposition and 40 is not so very far away anymore. So you scour Facebook thinking that you might reconnect with your seventh grade boyfriend, only it turns out he’s living in Montana with his gay, cowboy boyfriend and their six ferrets. And you accept invitations to every happy hour thinking, just maybe. Of course, you never turn down a blind date connection, all while trying to maintain some level of self-esteem and trying to remember that you are a strong, independent woman who is trying to balance wants with needs.

Then you take a breath. You realize that you’ve lived most of your adult life ALONE and it’s really okay. And you remind yourself that scaring yourself into settling is not an option.

So maybe it’s true that they don’t buy the cow when they get the milk for free…but hopefully the cow is having some fun along the way.

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