Am I the only one who still has to use alligator mouth hand when trying to remember which way the symbol should point for less than and greater than? And I use both symbols at least once a week.
I have to go gator every.damn.time.
The gator says, “Yum, yum, yum. I’m a hungry reptile. […]

Someone from Mexico found this site by searching for “sex sleeping sister.”
Um. Whatever you’re thinking about doing? You might want to think through it. I mean REALLY think through it. Besides, you could just ask her. She might totally be into it. Once.

*If it’s 3:00 in the morning, and you’re watching “Juvies” on MTV, it’s probably okay to go ahead and go into work.
* If this kid thinks her dog is talking to her, she’s smoking more than weed.
*At a certain point in the day, the office kitchen starts to smell like cat food.
* Heating up […]

Three years old. But you’ll always be my baby. My ugly, cuddly, walks into walls, makes the most adorable sounds, throws up too much, perfect baby.
You always climb into my arms when I need you. You let me tell you the story of how you were born, from pain and necessity, and […]