Still passing the open windows and falling down the stairs

Lord, have mercy

I was prepared for long. I was prepared for boring. I was prepared for uncomfortable. I was NOT prepared for long, boring, and uncomfortable while on my feet.

It was the first Greek Orthodox wedding for me so I had no idea what to expect. I certainly was not aware that we would be standing for 55 minutes when I purchased the very cute, very strappy, very tall gold stilettos.

“Lord, have mercy”, the priest sang.
“Lord, have mercy”, bandick pleaded silently.

I hobbled my way out of the ceremony and into the sweltering heat, which certainly was a contributing factor to the swollen misfortune that was my feet, and met his entire family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, in-laws, out-laws, and friends of friends.

“Please, sweetie, we have to find me different shoes. Three more steps in these and people will think I have the stigmata.”

After trying, very unsuccessfully (including an unfortunate venture into Dress Barn), to locate replacement shoes we drove the 30 minutes back to the hotel so that I could change into Plan B Outfit which included much more simple, sensible shoes.

It was the only snafu of the event. Bad shoes.

He has a lovely family and they were all very nice………
And his brother kissed me on the lips but that’s a story for another day.

The best laid plan

Oh, what foul cosmic vengeance is this?

Three weeks of planning, prepping, and preparing!

It’s the day before I leave for Cleveland and I have bumps on my lip from a wax I had convinced myself I needed (even though my esthetician told me I didn’t) and heat rash from the tanning bed.

Here’s the new angle for “Operation Photo Saturation”:
Who’s that leper in the corner? It’s bandick!

Who’s that girl?

In one week I will be flying out to Cleveland for the Heartbreaker’s cousin’s wedding. I could not be more nervous. I have met the immediate family (with the exception of his brother and sister-in-law) and they have all been really great. But this wedding will be attended by his mother’s ENTIRE family. All 60,000 of them.

And this will be the real test of my “cool” factor. Of the 60,000 relatives, 20,000 of them are young, hip, single cousins. The jury. This is the “can she hang?” test. In some sort of weird nervous reaction, I’ve gone a little crazy with my preparations. Tanning, facials, hair, clothes, waxing, etc., etc., ETC.!

Today I decided that since I was spending this amount of time, energy, and of course money, I had better ensure a return on my investment. So, I have decided to go with “Operation Photo Saturation”.

I am going to strategically position myself to be in EVERY SINGLE PHOTO taken at the blessed event.
*Introduction of the couple – there’s bandick
*Wedding cake cutting – there’s bandick
*First dance – there’s bandick
*Picture of the parents – who is that in the corner? IT’S BANDICK!

This will also keep me from becoming dependent upon the Heartbreaker to entertain me while he mingles in the masses of his family.

I realize that this plan may not raise my cool factor but at least I will know that no matter the outcome in my relationship with the Heartbreaker, his family will NEVER forget me.

I’m back, baby!

Fantastic trip. Really. Perfect weather, great events, and one totally crushable guy.

I think that makes a trip like this complete. Someone to crush on and have pretend dates with so you feel a bit less like a third wheel when hanging out with a couple. So, thanks, crushable boy. I’ve crushed on you before and I look forward to crushing again.

I shopped in Pasadena, ate at the Disney Studios, and saw Kung Fu Hustle in Hollywood.

Perfect.

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