I’ve spent a few minutes browsing through some of my more “recent” posts and I reread Spring Cleaning, to which I cried, “bullshit”!
I wrote it in an effort to conceal that I was still hurting from the break up, as a proactive mask in the off chance that the guy I had recently met would find my blog. But none of it was real. I wasn’t over it. And I wasn’t in a new “relationship”. But I wanted to be both and so I changed the visibility of 30 break up related posts from public to private.
I censored myself which is I something that I had never wanted to do on this site. Which is not to imply that I just vomit every thought onto my keyboard. I (usually) think through my posts and determine what I am and am not willing to share. I will admit to a couple of knee jerk posts here and there, but I don’t want to feel shame or regret for being a human person, so I had always let them stand, until last May.
And so I have decided to flash my privates to the world! I have returned all posts to public visibility and now every post ever written over the past eight years is here for the world to see. Some are clever, some are depressing, and most are pointless to anyone but me. But who cares? This is my space and I will not concern myself in the future with who might read what and how that might affect their opinion of me.
Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a post.