Still passing the open windows and falling down the stairs

No longer on the passenger side

In 2004, I purchased two tickets to see Wilco with the intent of introducing a favorite band to a favorite boy.

We broke up a month before the concert and I took a friend.

In 2009, I purchased two tickets to see Wilco with the intent of introducing a favorite band to a new favorite boy.

He left town for six weeks of training and I took a friend.

In 2011, I purchased two tickets to see Wilco with the intent of (finally) introducing a favorite band to the still favorite boy.

We broke up two months before the concert so I am taking a friend.

In the future, I will wait for a favorite boy to introduce me to his favorite band and I will keep Wilco all for myself.

Sudden popularity

Why is it that most days I eat lunch at my desk or run errands by myself but as soon as I try to lose some weight, friends are crawling out of the woodwork to try to get me to go out for a meal…?

I now have three lunches next week and one (so far) the following week.

And I’m up 1.8 pounds from yesterday.

I’m crawling back under my anti-social rock until I get to my goal weight.

Live, love, lose.

Thank you for the pawty!

Mom. What a girl, what a twirl. And this year, she is 60. As a test of her heart health, I decided we should have a surprise party.

I had originally imagined that a handful of the locals would surprise her at a restaurant but the response was huge and people wanted to come in from out of town, even though the party was a Sunday brunch. That’s the trouble with trying to plan a party for someone with such a packed social calendar — you have to settle for off-peak event!

Since the RSVP list was longer than I could handle at my house, I decided to do the only thing I could — hold it at her house. My sneaky uncle and aunt invited my parents (dad was obviously in on it) to go snowshoeing to get her out of the house. That gave us a window from 11:00 – 1:00 to swoop in with decorations and food. Those were two of the craziest hours of my life and I realized that I would NEVER survive in Chef Gordon Ramsey’s kitchen.

But we pulled it together and after my aunt gave us the 10 minute warning by calling her “dad” and my uncle killed time in the gift shop at the arboretum, because he “can’t ever have too many note cards”, we all huddled in the living room whispering and giggling while my brother kept a watch from the guest bathroom. “The eagle has landed. This is not a drill people.”

We got a “what the hell?” and some tears out of her before we all jumped into the fabulous looking buffet. It was a wonderful day full of laughter and champagne (of course, I stuck with the punch — falling off the wagon is like the worst birthday present ever!) and my cousin’s son, who is 3, took the time to personally thank everyone. He walked up to each person, blew his roll-out horn* and said, “Thank you for the pawty!” And then my heart exploded.
*Horn is not really a good word since they didn’t make any noise…I had apparently been shopping in the section for the hearing impaired when I found them…

After everyone left, my immediate family, including my brother and sister-in-law who flew in from Chicago, sat around glowing. It was about an hour later when I realized that my mom was glowing because she had a fever. The birthday girl was sick and I had made her endure hours of chit-chat and mini frittatas.

What was it? Shingles. What was she doing all day? Kissing people.

Great party, bandick.

Float

Wow. More than a month has passed since I disappeared into myself. And here’s a heads up…this is not a funny post. If that’s what you’re in the mood for, try this, or this, or this. This one gives me a giggle, too.

I’ve been struggling. My health has not been good and as the test results are rolling in…negative, negative, negative…I’m beginning to think that my mind has once again sabotoged my body.

Fuzzybottom is back in Ohio. He’s working like crazy and will be there all summer (he left mid-April). We were having problems before he left and I’ve been mulling over my next steps for two months. You don’t have to be Karnak the Magnificent to know what certain people (who shall not be named) want me to do. Move on, honey…

Easier said than done. I love him. I miss my friend. Not to mention that I never have the physical pain with him that I have without him. BUT, I am willing to admit that I’ve run out of steam. Three years gone and we’ve made no progress. He’s still not dealing with his shit. I still want the things he’s not yet offered.

I’ve been periodically checking in on the site(s) of this really amazing guy, Halcyon. Be warned, all ye faint of heart, that if you do any digging beyond Hug Nation, you may find that he is something of a part-time pornographer…gasp!

Anywhoooo…I don’t remember exactly how I found his site(s) but his gentle nature and seemingly pure heart pulled me in and I continued to read. He posted the following (I don’t know if he wrote it…?), “Float More, Steer Less. Love More, Fear Less.” It appears to be the Hug Nation motto…?

I wrote it down and have walked around with it in my bag for months. It struck me today that this is the perfect choice for my daily meditation. I am not even close to floating because I have secretly been consumed by fear. I’ve been terrified of making any decision because I’m afraid it might be wrong.

TODAY, I begin to float. So, please, let me.

ps…did you notice who he was hugging? Rob effin’ Corddry!

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